It was 10pm. Everyone except me, my coach, and my teammates had left the rink. Due to COVID-19, all exams and competitions were done in the form of videos, and it will be submitted to the judges who will be determining whether you have passed or failed the exam. I had prepared for this exam for the past 5 years, and if I fail, it would be devastating.
When it was time for me to go on the rink and warm-up, I got real nervous, and I couldn't help myself but do a lot more of the jumps and spins than my coach instructed. When it was time to record the video, the first go was okay--even though I successfully landed all the jumps, the coach still stopped the music. To this day, I still don't understand why he paused the music when all the jumps and footwork was done (probably because they weren't done too perfectly). The second go of the recording was even worse--not one jump was landed. I started to get anxious, because I have already wasted 2 times of recording and if I don't pass this exam the hard work that I have put into figure skating for the past 5 years has been wasted. What do I do? Just when I was started to panic, my coach said: "Take a break for now, you'll go last". All I could do was go off the rink and take a break until every other skater has went.
While my mom was helping me take off my skates, she told me: "whether you want to have that last go is dependent on your choice". At first, I didn't really think that that would bug me too much, but when I stepped into the gymnastics room, this question, by miracle, somehow started to bug me and confuse me. I of course, wanted to pass the exam, but if I try for the third time, I might perform even worse due to my anxious and nervousness. It seemed like there was a devil and an angel on either of my shoulders and both of them were speaking loudly and with a lot of reasonable reasons, for a lack of a better word. As I thought I was about to quit, one of my teammates smiled at me and told me: "you can do this!" Her smile was as mysterious, but also as powerful as Mona Lisa's. I don't know what hit me, but I decided to record once again.
When one skates, their mind is blank, but after the routine, I couldn't get happier, because I landed all the jumps and did all the spins, which has never happened in training. I couldn't hold in my laugh and smile of triumph.
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