We have all heard of Asian “tiger moms”, who are strict moms (or parents in general) that demands their children to excel in all aspects of life—academics, sports, piano (this instrument specially because it is extremely popular in Asian countries), and maybe even art. However, demanding parents definitely do not only exist in Asia and high populated countries like Japan, China, and Korea, parents all around the globe are becoming more concerned for their child’s education and personal development. They have tried every way possible to let their child be “interested” in so many areas of skill and capabilities. However, something is just missing. Is it love? Is it care? Is it doing more of these tasks and force the child to like them?
Well, to me, there are two ways to solve this problem. The first is to talk openly. This can be hard, especially in such a demanding environment, where college applications and finding jobs are so competitive and it is almost impossible to let parents know that their children are not “able” to do certain things that their parents have signed them up for. However, things are just going to be more painful once the classes start and the child suffers in the class, thus, communicating beforehand is always the key. Whether you are a parent or a child, be open and genuine. If either side hides their genuine thoughts and feelings, the pressure and anxiety of either side will lead to a disingenuous relationship. In Chinese we have a phrase called “万事开头难”, which means that the beginning of everything is always difficult. This applies to genuine communication of parents and children. It is pressuring and cringey to say to either side their authentic ideas to a circumstance, especially when the rigourous and challenging academic environment is only ever going to increase in its difficulty, the parent wants the student to do well is every aspect but there are only so many things a child can accomplish in a limited amount of time, and the child needs to let the parent acknowledge that their child is not a superheor that can do anything and not tire. However, because one’s parent and oneself may not start with a positive relationship, the process of fostering a positive parent-child relationship will be time-consuming and difficult to keep consistent with, but the change is noticable. Thus, do not lose hope in genuine communication.
The second is to be open-minded to try, but remain critical and objective when choosing what to do. This is especially important when there are so many activities to choose from and that could be pressuring because it seems like everyone is doing everything and that you are missing out on some. However, we have to know and understand that everyone has limited capabilities and time, and that everyone has their points that make them shine, which is essential to acknowledge.
Overall, as to my experience, consistent communication with parents as well as conveyance of genuine thoughts and ideas of a circumstance in one’s education and interests is essential to fostering a constructive relationship between parent and children, which will reduce the amount of pressure the parent gives to the child.
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Writing: Margaret Y
Posted by: Margaret Y
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